Sometimes I Don't Even Know

Lately I've been finding myself driving to basically anywhere but home. I'm starting to yearn for the things that I never had and the things that I truly deserve."What have you done since graduating, really?" "Do I even have enough gas to be driving to the middle of nowhere?" "What am I doing settling for less than I deserve?' "Is it time for me to start over again with new people?' "I wish I was her." I think to myself as I listen to Alanis Morissette. Is this what my twenties are supposed to feel like? Not fully satisfied but getting through life on a very thin line. I'm not a party girl. I don't have the best grades. I'm just THERE. I used to write to myself  in my journal daily and then that changed to yearly and now it's been about two years... here's the update.... you're not perfect, you're going to be stuck in community college for two more years, you're definitely NOT getting married soon, you may not love him the same way but he's all you know so for now that's okay, stop salvaging it, you're not even really sure about your major now but fuck it you've wasted this much time, life isn't like the movies, someday you'll have your shit together.
PS: SUCK IT THE F UP!
XOXO